I have been feeling sorrow more often this quarter since there is a lot of stress on me right now and I keep messing up and feeling a larger sense of guilt than before which is not the best for my mind, but I cannot help it. My brain is full and tired. Sorrow is caused by loss, affliction, disappointment, or regret, it is an intenser feeling then sadness since sorrow can be prolonged, mixed in with a sense of resignation from the world around you. Naturally, a gloomy storm comes to mind, mild shadow, or a simple softened black and white photo. The world has lost its color, its uniqueness, and becomes one thing; sorrowful.
My past scenic professor and mentor at my community college, Aubree Lynn, taught my class an interesting designer drawing exercise. She assigned us to just draw a messy portrait every week in order for us to understand and study shadows; not caring about any minute details. When I was first assigned to do one of those drawings I kind of lost it because I love to do detailed drawings and paintings. It was out of my comfort zone, but I did it them anyway, especially because this scenic class was graded. I began to study shadows; I took any sort of room and broke it down to its basic form of light and dark. I did one of these drawings for this blog post with a softened graphite pencil, took one look at it and felt a bit of ache in my heart. The thick scribbles visualize distress and the shadows almost showcase the intensity that sorrow can grow to, the darkest one on the left being the somber, almost doleful.
Along with shadow I want to showcase, a continuous storm or rain, showing that a rainbow and Clear skies won't be out any time soon. The condensation texture going on here is descending, which leads the eye downward. Even the subject is looking down which makes this hurtful emotion even stronger. Furthermore, the texture is bigger than the subject which adds to that prolonged or larger sense of woe, like the life he once knew is melting slowly into blobs in different degrees of gray. Overall, this photo makes me want to cry, and there is a sense of relatability because I believe that everyone has been sorrowful at some point in their lives, everything is not always 100% and these works of art can connect us in human ways and is another way to say "You are not alone".
Very nice post and connection to the subject matter. I want to talk about the project that your scenic professor gave you and your response. It was something that was out of your comfort zone and you did it mainly to get the grade but it does feel from this post that you got a lot out of it and that it gave you important skills to be a scenic designer. Plotting is similar on many levels. In order to express the art you have inside you, and whenever I read your blogs or treatments, I know you have a beautiful lighting designer inside you but without the skills you will take from the plotting class, you will not have the skills to accomplish your ideas. Just like not being able to draw in scenic design. Keep at it, it will make sense, and will give you the skills to succeed.
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